Sexuality Individuals : Know Her Female Libido

 

Ever feel like your libidos are stuck in separate lanes? The fact that your sex drives don’t seem to be on the same page may simply be a matter of different sexual personalities. Know your partner’s sex style and in which ways it is similar to yours or opposite. Find her libido type and match it with yours.

 

 

1) If She’s A Sensualist...

 

She uses sex to express her love. To put it bluntly : She doesn’t have sex, she makes love. She’s a hopeless romantic angel that craves lots of eye contact, deep kissing, foreplay and post-coital cuddling.

 

In order to truly arouse her, you have to go for quality, not quantity. If you’re not really in the mood to be creative, romantically speaking, go for the basic moves. But couch them in a dare, tell her you want to climax simultaneously during missionary. So that she gets the feeling that it's boundary pushing.

 

From time to time, go for a quickie. In her eyes, having a quickie means you’re so attracted to her that you can’t wait. You want her right then and there. A quickie will offer the physical connection she craves with more urgent kisses and touching, minus the drawn-out pomp and circumstance.

 

A few affirming words will turn the passion button on and set the pace. Non-verbal mimicry also works. Match her movements, so she can better understand how turned on you are.

 

 

2) If She’s An Adventurer…

 

She measures her pleasure by sexual enthusiasm and variety, in positions and changes of scenery. She needs a partner in crime who is not afraid to try everything. She believes that if the sex isn’t the point, neither is the relationship.

 

Therefore, given the fact that she uses sex to express her love, try some role-play. It will please both your palates. It indulges her inner risk taker, and you’re also connecting emotionally.

 

Learning to say erotic words in a foreign language, mutual masturbation, even seeing how long you can drive each other mad, doing everything but the main event.

 

 

 

 

3) If She’s A Pleaser…

 

She gets off most by controlling the action and gratifying her partner. Even if it means putting her own needs on the back burner. She’s able to lower her inhibitions because she feels a rush from seeing your pleasure and the way you react to her moves.

 

Plumb your sexual potential by keeping the lights on during sex. Seeing and being seen means, get you the full-on eye contact you crave. Be careful though, being generous in bed is one thing. Because she has a tough time letting go and fully surrender herself to her own pleasure as well is another.

 

What you have to do is treat her with arousing touches, during foreplay, move slowly. Indulge her need to be touched by rubbing her scalp, her feet, and massaging her back. As for during the act 69: She’ll enjoy the fact that she’s pleasing you with oral and you can return the favor in the same time.

 

4) If She’s A Thinker…

 

She loves to fantasize, but often stress either about her her body or performance. Sometimes torpedoes her libido, so she needs reassurance. If you notice that she’s consistently shooing you away because she’s feeling blah..., try arousing her by subtly tapping in to things that have turned her on in the past and then let nature take it course.

 

Her innate anxiety will soon be a matter of the past as well. You can also quiet the naysayer in her head by milking the atmosphere to get her into the right frame of mind.

 

Unwind with a simple ritual. Give her a massage with steamy towels. This helps her relax and rediscover how amazing her body can feel.

 

 

 

Sexual Individuality : Know Your Male Libido

 

 

We’re all different in so many aspects, why would things be different when it comes to sex? In order to learn one person’s sexual individuality, the simpler form of your bed DNA. You must find out what type of libido you have and how to pair it with your partner’s.

Know that perfect sexual compatibility is rare, so try and make the best of the situation you are in, without dreaming of impossible standards, which will leave you both unsatisfied.

Here’s The List That Will Help You Clear Things Out And Find Out Which Libido You Possess :

 

The Disinterested Libido

There are persons that have naturally low libidos. They practically have no physical or emotional problem with having sex, they just seem to not be in the mood.

If you’re one of those, you might develop feelings of guilt and defensiveness because you’re not able to satisfy your partner. However, you must accept that you have not chosen to be a disinterested libido type. Is that you wish, you did feel like sex and enjoy it as other people seem to.

The Detached Libido

The detached libido type usually feels sexual desire but is too preoccupied with other life issues to seek out couple sex, usually masturbating to relieve sexual frustrations because it is the simpler solution.

Being overwhelmed by stress from financial or work pressure, you might think that sex is the last thing on your list right now. But be aware, that this attitude does more wrong than good.

The Stressed Libido

You’re always on your toes, constantly worrying about your performance and about whether what you are doing is pleasurable or not. You tend to avoid having sex for fear of failure, even though you might still be very aroused.

You’re a fan of masturbation, because in these moments the pressure is off and you can enjoy the pleasure wholeheartedly.

The Dependent Libido

You need sex to cope with problems. Sex soothes you and makes you feel better. You probably masturbated a lot in your teenage years. Mainly to better deal with bad feelings such as stress, boredom or anxiety.

If your partner doesn’t want to do it, when you want because your too emotional state. You tend to interpret it, as a lack of love and caring. It’s like she’s refusing to give you the medicine you need to… feel better.

The Reactive Libido

You care more about the sexual needs of your partner. You might even end up ignoring your own desires, if you feel they aren’t what your partner usually enjoys. You put a lot of effort into foreplay and can only orgasm, once you make sure she did.

If your partner is not in the mood, you’d rather masturbate than impose your own sexual needs.

The Addictive Libido

 

Your problem is that you can’t seem to resist the lure of having sex outside your relationship. It’s not that you don’t love your partner. It’s that you’re constantly craving more. You think that couple sex is boring, compared to the dangerous allure of doing it with a complete stranger.

 

Like any addiction, it’s the behavior that controls you rather than vice versa. Although you might feel bad when cheating, you just can’t stop doing it. Some therapy sessions and counseling are in need here.

 

The Erotic Libido

 

You want sex to be intense and passionate, at least some of the times. You can cope with periods of ordinary sex. Provided there are regular opportunities for adventurous and sizzling sex.

 

If you have a strong erotic libido, you get little or no pleasure from low key sex. This might cause problems in your relationship, because your partner might start to feel a pressure to perform at great heights all of the time, which is never good.

 

The Compulsive Libido

 

While the Erotic Libido wants to explore all the wondrous variety of sexual activities that are now openly discussed in our society. The compulsive lover has one main sexual object or situation that triggers sexual arousal.

 

Some sexual compulsions can be incorporated into a sexual relationship, but others, such as the compulsive use of Internet pornography, excludes a partner.

 

Extreme compulsive libido types can only arouse using the sexual object or ritual. Which creates a lot of damage inside the relationship, because a unilateral position in this area is bound to lead to frustrations from the opposite part.

 

The Entitled Libido

 

You assume that it’s you, given the right to get whatever you want in your sexual relationship. If you want hot steamy sex, you should be given the opportunity to have hot steamy sex. If, on the contrary, you want cuddling, your partner should provide you with just that.

 

You are very influenced by the idealization of sex in movies and books and think that you are entitled to have the same great sex they’re having on screen. Because you’re you. And you’re that Special.

 

The Sensual Libido

 

Sex is an important part of the relationship for you, and you want both you and your partner to enjoy the benefits of orgasmic pleasure. To manage this, you make sure you satisfy all of your partner’s desires. But you want equal time in getting your wants and needs met, and aren’t afraid of letting your partner know what you find pleasurable.

 

However, this doesn’t mean that you have sex for the sake of, well, sex. You care more about the emotional connections that becomes stronger between the two of you each time you reach another level of sensual euphoria.

 

You can psyche yourself out of revealing your secret desires all you want, but the truth of the matter is that we all like sex! There is just no getting around it. We may have different physical and emotional blockages that stop us from fully enjoying our bodies and the body of our partner, but when it comes right down to it we are all sexual beings.

 

Ignoring that or convincing yourself that you are somehow strange or unique because of your fantasies will only lead to isolation and resentment. Sex is a normal, incredible, comforting, healing, stress-relieving, bonding good time!

 

Managing Emotional And Physical Space In A Relationship

Managing Space In Relationships

All intimate relationships must navigate the continuum of both together/apart and mine/yours/ours. Many of us may have made great love choices, yet haven't come to a happy arrangement with problem-solving abilities.

The "relationship rhythm range" of time alone and time as one that mesh with yours—two things that are necessary to resolve emotional and physical space issues. Here is a guide to help you understand and improve how you and your partner can deal with these on-going responsibilities.

Emotional Space Issues

Time together is space together. When you fall in love, you tend to spend the beginning of your relationship doing many shared activities. As you ease into the everyday romance of love, you tend to spend less of your time jointly.

With the demands of careers, family, interests and social obligations. these might keep you apart longer than you wanted or expected. If one of you is unhappy with these "relationship rhythms.

Try These Steps :

1.) Hold up an imaginary mirror and imagine you are looking into it.

* Now think first about how you would like your partner to speak to you and the tone would you like to use.

* Be ready to use, the "Ask and Tell" technique. If you tell your partner what's bothering you, as well as, ask when you sense something is wrong with him or her. Then you'll shorten the length of your unhappiness time.

* Now tell or ask your partner about the issue-and be sure to use the kind of words and tone you imagined in step one.

2.) Give a number. Signal your partner the degree of seriousness of your discontent by supplying a number from one to ten, with ten the highest.

• Describe your feelings with adjectives about only yourself. ( I feel lonely, left out, bored, disconnected, resentful, jealous, forgotten, etc.)

  

Take an "educated guess" as to why you feel this way. Dig back into your family life when you were a child and find out what's your "hot buttons".

• You might find, for instance, that you are not so comfortable spending lots of time together with your partner because the turmoil in your early family life, made you feel like hiding out in your bedroom. Retreating became your "emotional default drive."

• Or, perhaps old problems from a previous relationship-gone-wrong are getting activated. You might discover that you hate staying home on weekend nights ever since you and your previous partner always fought about not going out.

  

3.) Turn that imaginary mirror, so it faces your partner. Imagine what your partner would say are the reasons for the two of you being too much apart or together lately. Jot down some ideas from his or her point of view.


Think about your partner's "hot buttons" and "emotional default drives." Talk out loud to your partner what you think is his or her explanation.

• Pretend, you are actually your partner speaking. ( I've been very pre-occupied lately with work, I'm just under a lot of stress andI didn't want to bother you. At night I'm so exhausted and feel so shaky that I just don't feel like making love, etc. ) You probably feel burned out with it. Thanks, yourself for listening!

4.) Ask your partner to take your viewpoint. Speak as though he or she were you. Now see what solutions you two can design.

* You might plan a "date" night together. Or, you might each want to take a "girls/boys night out."

5.) Sit down with a calendar. Chart upcoming events, holidays, obligations and stress points. Talk out what's on the schedule for the next one or two months.

• Mark with the letter "T" activities that can be done together. Mark with the letter "A" those that can or need to be done alone.

Step back and see what you're your "relationship rhythm range" looks like. Make changes that are mutually satisfying and repeat the above steps as often as necessary.


Physical Space Issues


The use of physical space in your home often plays out as emotional space. For instance, if you like to spend time in the extra bedroom drawing or in your bedroom watching your favorite television show. Then you are simultaneously enacting an emotional space issue of alone time.

 

 

Similarly, if you've set up your living space so that there are no private places for each of you to use. Then you've overlooked the importance of creating emotional alone time. But you can get creative in how you can use your existing space to accommodate everyone's physical space needs.

 

 

Here Are Some Tips :

 

 

1.) Each partner makes a list of the top physical spaces, he or she needs. For instance, A study room, an exercise area, aplace to practice your guitar. Now, tell your partner what you need.

• You don't have to use a room for its intended purpose. Living rooms and big dining tables are often rarely used.

2.) Each partner now makes a list of where in your home you could "squeeze in, some room for your activity.

Now make a list for your partner of where else you think he or she might "squeeze in" some room.

• Typical spaces are in bedrooms, guest rooms, basements, garages or living and dining rooms.

3.) Compare your lists. On a scale of one to ten, with ten the highest. Tell your partner how important this physical space is to you.


4.) Now make a list of what you see are the emotional obstacles. To these "squeezes" and discuss them, including tentative solutions.

•  Perhaps, for example, you are a perfectionist and you don't want a messy dining room table with your partner's work all strewn on it. One solution is to buy a decorative screen to hide the table. Or, maybe a treadmill in your bedroom drives you nuts.

 

 

5.) Ask yourself why you are being so rigid or emotional. How flexible are you and can you both "sacrifice" to make each of you happier? Where you take your partner's viewpoint, in explaining why this space is so important. Again, see what solutions you brainstorm together.

 

 

Finally, remember, healthy couples are flexible, creative problem-solvers who work to balance the needs of both.

Should You Care About Your Partner's Sexual Past ?

First off, ask yourself why should you care so much about what's in the past. You may have caught yourself speculating about your partner's former flames and wondering whether they've enjoyed the same intimacy that the two of you do now.

More often then not, when a person cares to find out about a partner's sexual past. There is some anxiety and concern on their part about the current relationship.

Somewhere, there may even be that lingering worry as to whether you can keep things hot between the two of you. You may just need some soothing from your partner, and to know that your partner is not judging or comparing you to a previous relationship.


Validate Your Feelings Of Needing To Know.

It is okay to have curiosity about it and perfectly normal to want to explore the issue. At some point, when you are starting to get more serious with someone. The conversation about past relationships is bound to occur.

You may feel that learning about your significant other's previous sexual relationships, offers a pretty good clue as to how the current one will progress. So go ahead, have the conversation, and ask the questions: What did you feel was right about the relationship?


Talking Things Out Can Be Helpful And Insightful.

Of course, it's also possible to obsess to the point where it's unhealthy for your current relationship. If you're constantly looking on and searching for information about your partner's ex or exes, to see if they are still in contact with your partner. Now you need to rethink your motives for knowing. If you are obsessed with knowing, it makes sense to step back and ask yourself why. You obviously don't want this to take up too much space in your relationship.

Getting Past History

The key to a vivid sexual relationship is to be in the here and now. Focus on what you have in the moment, not on memories. You will find the reassurance you are looking for in the present, not by comparing yourself to past relationships.


When You And Your Partner Discuss Your Sexual Pasts.

It's important to be open with each other. You both need to agree to be the other's source of primary intimacy. If your partner keeps turning to an ex for emotional support, then you won't have the opportunity to extend it yourself. In this situation, the relationship may not be all that satisfying because the person is not giving it the proper shots.

Remind Yourself.

That there's always a reason, your partner's not with an ex. It's easy to be concerned that they won't measure up to a previous relationship and that in some way you will be held in comparison to this idealized other. It is important to keep in mind that your partner is not in that other pattern with that other partner, but with you.


Be Patient.

Just as trust doesn't develop overnight, neither does a satisfying level of intimacy. It takes both time and effort to build an emotionally and physically intimate relationship.

 

Ladies...10 Intimate Secrets You Should Knew

Have a couple of glasses of wine, start Googling and see what turns you both on, or find something you can learn to take some sex notes. Your guy may never come out and say it, but chances are your special someone wishes you knew certain things that would make him feel more special, sexy, and confident about your relationship.

Just because he won't tell you himself doesn't mean, you should ignored them. Allow yourself to experiment and figure out what he's into :

1. Buy And Wear Sexy Lingerie

For a special occasion or an unexpected surprise, but keep it simple. You have no idea how happy that makes a guy. He'll work harder to make you happy and satisfied.

2. Dress Up And Wear A Pretty Scent.

Guys like it when you smell and look great. Unfortunately, we often times only dress up when we go out because of who is going to see us. Dress up especially for your guy. "Go the distance to look good."

3. Introduce Some New Ideas Into Your Sexual Relationship.

Novelty and newness are important to both passionate love and sexuality for men. The burning desire you both felt when first dating hasn’t been extinguished, you just need to find new ways to stroke the fire and rekindle the flame. You can make sex feel new and naughty. Get creative and go for it!

4. Making Your Own Sex Toys And Erotic Accessories.

Do pick up some bottles of scented massage oils and a book on massage tips, scented candles, cook delicious dinners/desserts. It’s time to get a bit more creative and come of with brand new ways to surprise and excite your guy in and out of bedroom.

5. Touch Him.

Even if you've been together for years, allow yourself to use casual touch in your day-to-day interactions with your guy. Guys still love it when you caress them, brush his hair, touch his chin, hold his hand, stroke his arm, and kiss him. All humans require affectionate touch and it is a necessary aspect of an intimate relationship creating a stronger sense of closeness and emotional connection.

6. Develop Sex Signals.

Some couples have their own personal ways of telling each other, they're interested in having sex. Touch yourself while you catch your guy, gaze across the room. Give him a mischievous wink. Lick or bite your lip ever so slightly. Develop a signal to tell him, you're on. So don’t be shy to capitalize on these cues. Use that creative force to make something beautiful and then go and make some love!

7. Talk About Sex, In And Out Of The Bedroom.

Spend time exploring your boundaries to nurture and expand the intimacy that you share with your partner. In order to connect with your partner on a deeper level, you have to get in harmony on this aspect as well. Talk about your boundaries. Work through your issues. Stretch your understanding of each other and learn to negotiate. This allow you to experience something different and novel, to shock your system into feeling something new and interesting...

8. Ask Him To Describe His Sexual Fantasies To You.

Be vocal and Speak up! . Talk about your fantasies and encourage him to explore his in depth, not just those which are explicitly sexual, but all his dreams and desires. Sex life is about sharing something erotic with your lover! Because everyone's fantasy is different, it's tough to get specific. Hearing these devious acts put into actual words can be a major turn-on.

9. Initiate Sex.

Use the element of surprise and woo him once in awhile. It also gives him, your partner who normally pursues sex, an extra ego boost to feel attractive and wanted.

10. Indulge Him, Because He's Really A Softy.

Remember, guys aren't tough cookies. Once in awhile, when he's feeling down, you need to put the Band Aid on for your man. You can suggest a deeper and more relaxing erotic massage to help him relax. Do whatever you can, but don’t overdo it. Whisper sweet nothings into his ear, as you rub him down. He’ll appreciate this massage, since it’s both arousing and healthy.

Ps : Tease your man, right and you’ll have him begging for more. He’ll love them-- it’s really a win-win....."   ;)