Should You Care About Your Partner's Sexual Past ?

First off, ask yourself why should you care so much about what's in the past. You may have caught yourself speculating about your partner's former flames and wondering whether they've enjoyed the same intimacy that the two of you do now.

More often then not, when a person cares to find out about a partner's sexual past. There is some anxiety and concern on their part about the current relationship.

Somewhere, there may even be that lingering worry as to whether you can keep things hot between the two of you. You may just need some soothing from your partner, and to know that your partner is not judging or comparing you to a previous relationship.


Validate Your Feelings Of Needing To Know.

It is okay to have curiosity about it and perfectly normal to want to explore the issue. At some point, when you are starting to get more serious with someone. The conversation about past relationships is bound to occur.

You may feel that learning about your significant other's previous sexual relationships, offers a pretty good clue as to how the current one will progress. So go ahead, have the conversation, and ask the questions: What did you feel was right about the relationship?


Talking Things Out Can Be Helpful And Insightful.

Of course, it's also possible to obsess to the point where it's unhealthy for your current relationship. If you're constantly looking on and searching for information about your partner's ex or exes, to see if they are still in contact with your partner. Now you need to rethink your motives for knowing. If you are obsessed with knowing, it makes sense to step back and ask yourself why. You obviously don't want this to take up too much space in your relationship.

Getting Past History

The key to a vivid sexual relationship is to be in the here and now. Focus on what you have in the moment, not on memories. You will find the reassurance you are looking for in the present, not by comparing yourself to past relationships.


When You And Your Partner Discuss Your Sexual Pasts.

It's important to be open with each other. You both need to agree to be the other's source of primary intimacy. If your partner keeps turning to an ex for emotional support, then you won't have the opportunity to extend it yourself. In this situation, the relationship may not be all that satisfying because the person is not giving it the proper shots.

Remind Yourself.

That there's always a reason, your partner's not with an ex. It's easy to be concerned that they won't measure up to a previous relationship and that in some way you will be held in comparison to this idealized other. It is important to keep in mind that your partner is not in that other pattern with that other partner, but with you.


Be Patient.

Just as trust doesn't develop overnight, neither does a satisfying level of intimacy. It takes both time and effort to build an emotionally and physically intimate relationship.